John Probst Admin
Join date : 2021-09-03
| Subject: Immunity Challenge #1 Comments (Vvitch) Sun Oct 17, 2021 1:27 am | |
| COMMENTS Judge #2: Not overly impressed. One cant hemp but compare to Final Destination, and this is far from the standard set. Take more time to think outside of the box to show what makes you standout! Judge #7: Originality: 7/10 - I think this would've best been done as a prequel, sequel, lore, or just in the same universe as Brightburn. I think the script is pretty well all around, but there are some notes that could make it better; if you pitched me this in Shark Tank, I would ask "What about the fate of the parents?" because that seemed to be left out. The fate of the parents would be the highest point in the show, the magnum moment. Much like in Invincible when Omni-Man and Invincible duke it out, we know what happens and it gives us more content for the future. In order for me to greenlight it, I have to make sure that the ending goes in a positive direction like that of Invincible. (My usage of Invincible was to relate it to a similar-ISH type of show) Organization: 5/10 - Not the best organization on the planet, as an organization freak, it was legible... But not the best. The submission could've really benefitted from using colors, centering, changes in font sizes, and maybe a photo to break up some wordages. Hype: 8/10 - I rate this mainly because I don't like Horror all that much, but this is different because it's mainly about Ryan and his personal journey of being treated wrong through deceit and how awful this world can be. It feels more like a drama where you get the inside scoop of Ryan's life, except he goes unhinged. I quite like it! Plausibility: 10/10 - This is a very low-budget show, but it's ENTIRELY doable. I think this could be written, filmed, and released in less than a year if a major production company picked it up. Effort: 8/10 - Yeah, this definitely took time and energy. Good job! | |
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